Sunday, December 1, 2013

Thought dec 1 2013

Just waking up looking around and doing some deep thinking. Over the last three years I've had my share of ups and downs. I lost 296 lbs, lost my mom, had Jamiah, gained along with the retention of massive amounts of fluid. I Still remain standing through it all i will never allow it to break me. I have a plan and i know the goals that i will reach this go around. I may not have my mom here with me physically but i knkw she will always be with me spiritually. I have the determination and to drive to do this again and finish what i started years ago. This is for myself and Jamiah, she is all i got and i am all she have. I need medical attention  from someone that truly specialize in lymphedema and morbid obese people along with medical supplies that i can not afford because I'm on a fixed income and the have not approved me for medicaid. Which sad because myself like many others need the help and cant get it.  I need physical therapy, lymphedema manual massage therapy, a lift recliner chair and other medical supplies that will help me along the way. I cant just sit here and wait on the State to approve me so i will just make do with what i have now. I am so excited about this new way of eating it will be hard at first i know but i know the reward at the end is well worth it. Thanks for reading be blessed and keep praying for my healing i will not give up because I CAME TO WIN!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Random Sept. 17, 2013

Sitting here looking at myself. I do not even recognize this person i see. Im at a loss for words i have let myself go and have gotten caught in making others happy and forgot about myself until now. When My Queen died i lost myself. I fighting to survive this battle with morbif obedity and severe lymphedema is a struggle this time. No one loves me or care. Where is my support she died April 23, 2012. September 20, 2012 I gave birth to my baby girl Jamiah my new reason to live. She give me drive and determination but the depression from losing my Queen Walking has been a struggle for me but it been a year now its time for me to get my independence back. I hate having to ask ppl to come help me with things. I will get better because i dnt need my baby going through the things I'm going through. People will say that they care and they are here to help out but it's all a lie. It's all about me and Jamiah. No one else matters i got to get my ASS BACK UP AND MOVING FORWARD TOWARD THE PRIZE. THE SKY IS THE LIMIT I CAME 2 WIN #TEAMLALALUVSJAMIAH

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Losing My Queen (mother)

I have been going through a lot since I have loss my Queen. She was everything to me and for the ones of you that been following me.You all know that she was my biggest supporter. I have been doing this with her and she made sure i stayed on track. When she died I felt like I wanted to die to then I had to think about God had blessed me with my baby so I had to do what best for her and I. Its been over a year and I am still struggling but its getting better day by day. I just stay prayed up and talk with her and God and they are bringing me through. So I am back on the journey not half assing it either I'm back now full force. I was depressed and stress but i know she would not want me to be going through that. So I will not beat myself up anymore.

Thursday, February 14, 2013


Butterfly life is my life~ fights to survive and after a painful transition, becomes more beautiful and vibrant than ever. Learn from pain and come back even better!